Morning woke up with lot of questioning mind but also excited for trip and nervous about my coming out to my Sakhis. The day went in restlessness and even mom figured out the same and kept asking me if I was ok and all I could do was to give her a hug and stay silent. In my heart I wish I could spell out my secret to mom and she could understand and accept me for who I am. We would then share a beautiful mother – daughter bond. But it was all but dreams. I finished by leftover packaging and bid bye to mom and left for Pooja’s place. While on my way to her place I kept motivating self and in my mind prepared my speech and way I would disclose it to them and was also worried what if they took in wrong way and our trip and friendship gets spoiled.

All of these thoughts also gave me cold feet but knowing them and the bond we share I was hopefully they would be kind and accepting. I entered their home with ray of hope and excitement. We chatted for a while and girls were still give finishing touch to their packaging, last minute girly things. Suddenly Shreya said something which just blew my mind, she said Girls lets dress our best, flaunt our curvy bodies and enjoy this Girls trip and I was like she was referring me also as girl. In past also they hav addressed me as sakhi but never a girl. I tried to interrupt and said excuse me, even I’m there with you to which pooja said ohh common you r no less, and u better be comfortable as we our now going to share one hotel room only for our trip. This made by heart beat even faster and I thought this is the time, Its now or never. I excused myself went to washroom washed my face and got much needed courage for self to come out to my sakhis. I came out and girls were still busy with their stuff, I asked them to stop and sit down as I needed something important to talk about. Girls got curious, confused and sacred. Shreya started saying sorry for addressing me as a girl as they thought I may have felt wrong over it.

Pooja said r u not cancelling at last moment na. I said its something else and very personal but I need to confess and ask them to hear me out with all patience and not judge me and give or express only after I have finished. Sensing the gravity of situation and seriousness both sat down held my hands and waited for me to speak. I first showed them my old dressing pics and asked them to identify the picture. My old dressing pics had me wearing sarees but without face. They couldn’t figure out who she was, they asked was it my ex- gf and why there is no face. I then started, “ Its ME”. Both were shocked as fuck hearing this and asked me to show the pics again, they couldn’t digest the fact tht girl in the pic was actually me, a men dressed in saree. Shreya thought it was some kind of joke and said pls stop all this joke and lets get back to finish our packaging. I said I’m serious and its me, I’m a secret cross dresser. They blurted out what is a crossdresser and why did I dressed up as girl. I explained it to them a difference between a cd and trans.

I said IAM CROSSDRESSER (CD),there are considerable differences among a CD (CROSSDRESSER) and a TG. please be aware of that. A CD is always a part time dresser ( dressing for few hours) and always be androgynous in nature - means they like both being male and female . CDs always prefer to have a female partner never gets along with male and they even prefer to get accepted by females only. Most of them masturbate after getting dressed once its over they will remove the clothes they wear ( strange but is a fact).A TG is always a full time dresser and like to be purely treated as a female and moreover gets attracted to male - minimum deviations is there. they use hormones and get a SRS done on them and will live a woman life. A CD never comes out of closet , even if they come if will be for a limited period of time. The CD feelings changes as the individual tends to attain more age. a CD in the age of 10 to 20 will tend to get more attracted to dresses and wish to dress on a daily basis whenever they are alone. once they cross 30 ,it will become a hobby ,they dress once in two or three months. once they cross 45 ,it will be more or less no dressing.

They patiently listened to this and understood the thing. With teary eyes I confessed how since school days I was inclined to feminine things and clothes and how I would imagine myself and dress up secretly. I expressed to them I’m very much a straight guy and not a gay and I’m only attracted to feminine things and wish to be accepted with this dual personality. Pooja and Shreya were still in state of shock. I told them be – friending them was the best phase of my life and unknowingly have enjoyed the company of female and process of being a female with them. With tears and heavy on emotions I could barely speak properly to this pooja came towards me and just hug me and asked me to wipe my tears and asked me to stay calm and be relaxed. Shreya also joined the group hug and brought me water to drink. I said I’m sorry for hiding this fact from you, but was very scared to come out as reaction could be worse and was afraid to lose them as friends which I cant bear. They said its hard for them to digest these facts and terms and for them its completely a new world but they were instantly supportive and said, if this makes u Happy we are happy for you. We are friends and shall remain friends even if you r being dressed in a male attire or a female attire. Dressing cant change our bond and affection we share. They tried to consol me and kept giving me hugs. I was all but in sorry state. I said your words means a lot to me and I’m ok even if you guys feel we shouldn’t be friends any longer and can cancel our trip as well but just requested them that pls don’t speak anything about this to any third person as my reputation would get damaged and all may not consider it in a good way. Hearing this Pooja gave me a slap. This slap just stopped my tears and brough me back to senses, she said you are my friend / sakhi and I just don’t say it but mean it as well. Your dressing doesn’t define our friendship, yes what you said would take some time to digest but that doesn’t mean we are breaking friendship or cancelling our trip. You are and will be my Sakhi Forever and with this she even gave me a tight hug and kiss on my cheeks and said in my ears, you are my darling girl and shall always be. This brought smile on my face. Shreya being Shreya said enough of you two, didn’t I said in start, “ Girls Lets rock this trip” and we all burst in laugh and me with still teary eyes. Shreya also hugged me and said in my ears, welcome to this side of Feminine World you gorgeous Beauty. Pooja then said enough of this drama and stuff, we are going to trip as planned but with only change would be, we now have a third women also accompanying us to the trip and I was like now who else is joining and what another last minute surprise, to which Shreya said, stupid its YOU. I was all but blushing and seeing me Pooja said, “Dekho toh sahi iss ladki ko kitne sharmili hai and we all had a good laugh. Suddenly Shreya said ohh shit we have to now redo packaging, and we were like now what happened, she said our new girl would need some new dresses na. I said no, as I’m a secret dresser and I’m not comfortable in coming out dressed in public. They understood that but Shreya said, lemme still pack some thing for you, we shall see our Girl at least within our room. Pooja was then wait but now we need to call her in a girly manner and this male name doesn’t suit. I said yes you all can but only when we there are alone not in public. They asked me for a name to which I replied, I have kept me female name as Simran. Both Pooja and Shreya loved it and said wow such a nice name and from now we are calling you simmi which I lovingly accepted. I excused myself and again went to washroom and cried my heart out and was also thankful to have such beautiful friends in life and wish all my cd sister get such supportive female companion in their life with whom they can be their real self. I came out and both girls just finished their packaging and it was about late night now and we decided to rest. We had a group hug, set our alarm for early morning, decided our airport look and hit to bed. While sleeping they asked more about this and what I like and dislike and with all curiosity and open mind listen to me. I expressed myself fully and even made them hear my story from start and my Wishlist. They were all so excited hearing me and said Simmi you worry not babes, we girls would fulfil all your wish and we three girls are going to be Sakhis for life and this cute little secret of yours shall go with us in grave. I thanked them and expressed my happiness for their support and said I love my girl and they are the best to which both unanimously said our Simmi is the best girl and we love her. With this we slept with eagerness and excitement for our trip to start tomorrow.

P.S: This story was written by Simran Shah. All rights reserved to her. This story is posted over here by taking consent from her.